[DWJ] assistance needed

Minnow minnow at belfry.org.uk
Sun Jan 18 08:32:32 EST 2009


Farah Mendlesohn wrote:
> I am looking at a piece of work from a student and I do not believe this is
> the student's work. There are lots of reasons, but that it sounds completely
> different to the previous piece is a factor. Also, don't ask me why, but
> this feels like a woman's writing (it has phrases such as "a fast paced and
> emotionally moving story that tugs at your heart strings"-- maybe a 24 year
> old man, but I don't think so.
> The review is of Fire and Hemlock
>
> I can't find it on google. I've typed a few sentences below, If anyone
> recognises it, let me know. Cheers. F.
>
>
> "Told in Polly's present as a near adult, the story is a series of
> > flashbacks to her normal memories, but this is blurred, conditioned by the
> > passage of time and by a series of events beyond her control. The book
> > follows Polly's attempt to separate fact from fiction and discover why 
> > everything she had known and been familiar with had changed before its too
> > late, most notably the fate of her dear friend Tom Lynn who in the present
> > neither of whom know of each other, her attempts to reconnect with her pat
> > [sic] are more than just some kind of remembrance its of knowing whether
> > things were for the better.
> >
>
> > "The relationship between the central characters Polly and Tom is both
> > beautiful in its essence while also complicated at its core."
>   
I hope that "its" is [sic] too, the first and second times!  :-)

This reads like a cut-and-paste job with cobbled-together bits between
the quotes, to be honest.

"who at the present neither of whom know each other"  ought not to be
direct quotation from anything that got past any editor into print.  Nor
should "her attempts to reconnect with her pat are more than just some
kind of remembrance its of knowing whether things were for the better"
has three third-form errors in it that ought to have been suppressed
before it was published.

Is this standard student-quality?  I mean, is this better or worse than
you'd've expected?  I do hope you say worse...

Minnow




More information about the Dwj mailing list