[DWJ] an appeal to Australia

Elizabeth Evans er.evans at auckland.ac.nz
Wed Apr 22 19:49:16 EDT 2009

Minnow requested further information on the genus Oxyuranus Hulaii:

They do travel to their rendez-vous in Byron Bay by taking their tails
their mouths and rolling there, though, don't they?  Faster than a horse
can run?


Further info from the informative site
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Hoop_Snake :

Method of Attack
The Hoop Snake's attack works best from uphill. A Hoop Snake will wait
at the top of a hill, mountain or even slight incline. It will wait
until an unsuspecting victim walks past below doing something innocent
and unsuspecting like going to the shops to buy some bread or walking
around looking for cars to steal. 
. . . 


Avoiding Attacks
It is almost impossible to avoid being attacked by a Hoop Snake. They
attack. It's just what they do. You can, however, learn and practise
taking evasive action when the Hoop Snake does attack. School children
in Australia are routinely interrupted for Hoop Snake Drills during
class, just in case. 

The Hoop Snake relies on downhill slopes and the force of gravity to
make its attacks. For this reason the best method of defence is a good
offence. If you see a Hoop Snake rolling towards you, start running back
uphill towards it. At just the right moment, step to the side like
you're dodging a tackle from Glen Lazarus. The Hoop Snake will fly past
you. Once it is downhill from you, you are safe. Timing is the most
important factor here. Too late and you're dead. Too early and you're
dead. Just right and you live to tell the tale. Practice makes perfect
and there are plenty of Australian corporations that provide Hoop Snake
training equipment so that you don't have to practice with the real

The only way to avoid being attacked by a hoop snake pretending to be a
hula hoop is to not pick up unattended hula hoops. If you see a hula
hoop lying around and want to find out if it is really a hoop snake,
poke it with a sharp stick. If it is only a hula hoop, nothing will
happen. If it is a hoop snake, you just made a big mistake. 

. . . .

This is getting a long way from DWJ. I don't recall anything like a
hoop-snake in any of her books, though I am sure she would give us an
interesting spin on one if she chose to use it. So to speak.


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