[DWJ] Bad Mothers (was HP)

Colin Fine colin at kindness.demon.co.uk
Fri May 18 13:35:16 EDT 2007

Juliette Curtis wrote:
> A dear friend of mine is having treatment for postpartum depression. She
> recently told me of a radical idea she had discovered during counselling,
> and it is relevant to this discussion.
> She discovered that it is *good* for a mother to take time for herself. It
> helps her to be more relaxed, happier, and less stressed when she is with
> her family. She says the mother is the heart of the family and the family
> cannot be happy unless the mother is happy. She used to feel that it was
> selfish to leave her children with her husband for a few hours but now she
> knows that it is actually good for her whole family if she has some time
> away from them. (Husband works full time, wife does not work.)
> Her husband is a good man who loves her and wants her to be well and happy,
> and he is pleased that his wife is now able to take a break without feeling
> guilty.
> This is a very radical discovery for my friend because she is Japanese and
> was brought up with the idea that a mother's place is with the children, to
> the exclusion of everything else. She is now recovering from the depression,
> I am pleased to say.
> Juliette
People whose self-image is built around being 'caring' quite often find 
it hard to give themselves permission to 'care' for themselves


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