[DWJ] Bad Mothers (was HP)

Juliette Curtis jcurtis at harvestroad.com
Thu May 17 03:36:57 EDT 2007

A dear friend of mine is having treatment for postpartum depression. She
recently told me of a radical idea she had discovered during counselling,
and it is relevant to this discussion.

She discovered that it is *good* for a mother to take time for herself. It
helps her to be more relaxed, happier, and less stressed when she is with
her family. She says the mother is the heart of the family and the family
cannot be happy unless the mother is happy. She used to feel that it was
selfish to leave her children with her husband for a few hours but now she
knows that it is actually good for her whole family if she has some time
away from them. (Husband works full time, wife does not work.)

Her husband is a good man who loves her and wants her to be well and happy,
and he is pleased that his wife is now able to take a break without feeling

This is a very radical discovery for my friend because she is Japanese and
was brought up with the idea that a mother's place is with the children, to
the exclusion of everything else. She is now recovering from the depression,
I am pleased to say.


>I think "she spends time on things outside the home, she is wicked!" 
>was a useful stick to beat feminists, and if you wanted a Bad 
>non-feminist Mother who really did spend all her time with the 
>children you could tar her with "she is smothering, she wants her 
>children to be mollycoddles", and it's all one big catch-22 Tool Of 
>The Patriarchy.

More information about the Dwj mailing list