[DWJ] Twilight and New Moon (Was: Discussing now: What?)

estairm at yahoo.com estairm at yahoo.com
Thu Aug 9 13:10:40 EDT 2007


--- Melissa Proffitt <Melissa at Proffitt.com> wrote:

> On Thu,  9 Aug 2007 11:56:30 +0200 (CEST), Rachel
> Ganz wrote:
> 
> >>It's interesting to read your take on this.  All
> my life I interpreted it
> >> the opposite--that I should not make demands on
> others I wasn't willing to
> >> expect of myself.  That it wasn't fair to require
> someone else to live up to
> >> standards I couldn't keep myself.  I suppose
> that's why it's such a
> >> double-edged statement; how you look at it can
> make a huge difference in how
> >> you live.
> > 
> > 
> >But what sort of demands are you making? Shoe a
> horse, code a compiler, manage a sewage farm, run a
> mile?
> >
> >I think it can be a dangerously individualistic
> approach - to believe that one is self-sufficient
> and can do anything. 
> 
> That's not what I meant.  You're talking about
> having the *capacity* to do
> things rather than the *responsibility* to do
> things.  I don't see the
> original statement as having anything to do with the
> varied abilities every
> human being has--and I do not believe in
> self-sufficiency, which seems to me
> both impossible and unappealing.  Rather, I see it
> as a warning against a
> kind of moral hypocrisy:  if you have standards of
> behavior or ethics you
> expect of others, you'd better be living up to them
> yourself.  Or else it's
> time to reevaluate those standards. 
> 
> Melissa Proffitt
> 
Melissa, what you wrote seems right to me.  (Of
course.)

When I think of demanding more of oneself than of
others, I think of something like always treating
other people with respect, but not getting bent out of
shape if other people are overly familiar, or cheeky.

Or trying to act in a way that self-respect demands,
but being laid back if someone else fails.  

An example of not living according to this rule is if
someone who's worked hard on controlling temper, and
succeeded, will not cut any slack to someone who has
not yet reached that level.  It's much nice if the one
who used to blow up protects self from another's
outburst, but doesn't get all righteous about how bad
anger can be.

I am now going to be more demanding of myself than of
my children and make sure we have dinner at some
point...

Esther

I don't think it means being unreasonably hard on
one's own self.  Nor giving habitual advantage-takers
a free ride.

 


       
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