[DWJ] offtopic - The Leviathan of Babylon, input needed

Gili Bar-Hillel gbhillel at netvision.net.il
Thu Jul 6 08:51:19 EDT 2006


I need some advice. 

I'm helping out an Israeli author who has written an excellent fantasy book in Hebrew, and would like to have it translated into English. This is the only Israeli fantasy book I've ever read that is, in my opinion, if not on a par then at least in the general vicinity of books by DWJ (there's your ob-DWJ), Philip Pullman, Jonathan Stroud etc. I've volunteered to do a little translation sample and "treatment" that can be shown to English-language agents. 

But after spending a couple of days working on this translation, I'm suddenly not sure I've chosen good parts of the book to translate. I started by translating a bit from chapter 4, then decided it doesn't show off the humor enough and switched to a bit from chapter three, but then started having doubts about that too. Now I have two bits of text that don't connect, one of which cuts off at a rather random point, and I can't decide which of them I should be concentrating my efforts on expanding, if at all. I'd also like some feedback on my English, because, though I'm an experienced English-to-Hebrew translator, I don't often get to translate Hebrew-to-English. So any and all input would be appreciated.

Rather than send the sample translation as an attatchment, I thought it might be easier to upload to a website you could visit. The platform was designed for Hebrew, so I hope the English format isn't messed up (it looks okay on my computer). There's a button you can hit at the bottom to respond on the page, but if the Hebrew confuses you, you can also just email me.

Here's the URL:

http://www.notes.co.il/gili/20754.asp


Looking forward to your feedback.

Gili





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