[DWJ] Nettles and Other Garden Phenomena

Minnow minnow at belfry.org.uk
Wed Aug 23 08:50:20 EDT 2006

Jennifer again:

>Minnow wrote:
>> Jennifer doesn't like nettles!
>I wrote:
>> >They deserve it! Hack, crush, rend... <eye twitches>
>They are very useful to insects, I gather, plus you can eat them and
>make clothes out of them... it's no use, they are evil stinging fings,

Flamethrowers might be the answer... Or we might breed a Superbug that only
eats nettles.  (I've been toying for a while with the idea of a GM bug that
is tailored to destroy oil-seed rape.)

>> >(I know a bank whereon the nettle grows, where thistle and
>> > the ven'mous rue do blow...)
>> Wot no ground-elder?
>Fairy Ground-Elder wasn't around to listen to the speech, she was busy
>strangling something.

Assisted by her cousin Ornamental Ivy -- her of the variagated leaves,
pretty white flowers, and ability to grow a whole new plant from a section
of stem less than half-an-inch long.

>> The most sensible idea might be to nuke the unpleasance at the end of
>> the orchard (just beyond the eternal bonfire) from orbit, in fact.
>What superpowers would you get from being bitten by a radioactive

The ability spontaneously to generate shards of blue-and-white crockery at
a depth of seven inches below the surface of any flower-bed in a
town-garden, probably.

I often wonder whether there was a Greek invasion that no-one has told me
about: going by the amount of bits of broken plates and cups in every
garden I've ever had to try to do anything in, whole dinner- and
tea-services of not-Willow-pattern blue-and-white china were flung in a
Greek manner all over the South of England.

>Rotting Vegetation Boy meets Captain Half-Buried Rake. They Fight Crime!

Crime Fights Back!


More information about the Dwj mailing list