[DWJ] Nettles (was Re: Buttons? was Cinderella Graph)

Minnow minnow at belfry.org.uk
Wed Aug 23 07:20:48 EDT 2006

>Minnow wrote:
>> What *is* true is that they make very good compost.  And that
>> if you have a massive bank of them, you can cut half and
>> spread the corpses over the other half, and the dead ones
>> will stifle the still-living and they will die back -- but
>> *I* think that's *cruel*.

Jennifer doesn't like nettles!

>They deserve it! Hack, crush, rend... <eye twitches>
>(I know a bank whereon the nettle grows, where thistle and the ven'mous
>rue do blow...)

Wot no ground-elder?

I know a lawn where baby cherry-trees are sprouting in profusion, and we
can't make out whether they are growing up from the root-system of the
cherry-tree that overhangs the wall, or whether they're seeded from last
year's cherry-stones that we failed to notice when mowing.  On the plus
side, baby cherry-trees don't bite you; on the minus side, they are very
difficult indeed to uproot without making great gouges in the grass, and if
you don't get the whole thing they just grow back again doubled or tripled.

In fact this whole gardening business is fraught with difficulty and I am
beginning to wonder why anyone does it voluntarily.  Only the need to keep
the place in some sort of order because we are going to have to sell the
house to pay death-duties compels me to contemplate the use of anything
less drastic than napalm to clear the weeds.  The most sensible idea might
be to nuke the unpleasance at the end of the orchard (just beyond the
eternal bonfire) from orbit, in fact.


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