Help with Howl: Rugby, Welshisms and saucepans

hannibal at hannibal at
Thu Mar 17 05:24:51 EST 2005

And here's an even more firmly Welsh version - though lacking the relevant lines, alas!

Cosher Bailey's Engine

Cosher Bailey had an engine
It was always wanting mending,
And according to the power,
She could do four miles an hour

cho: Did you ever see, did you ever see
     Did you ever see such a funny sight before?

On the night run up from Gower
She did twenty mile an hour
As she whistled through the station
Man, she frightened half the nation.

Cosher bought her second-hand
And he painted her so grand
When the driver went to oil her
Man, she nearly burst her boiler.

Cosher Bailey's sister Lena
She was living up in Blaina
She could knit and darn our stockings
But her cooking it was shocking.

Cosher Bailey's brother Rupert
He played stand-off-half for Newport,
When they played against Llanelly
Someone kicked him in the belly.

Cosher Bailey had a daughter
Who did things she didn't oughter
She was quite beyond the pale
But over that we'll draw a veil.

Cosher Bailey went to Exford [i.e. Oxford, pronounced poshly]
For to pass matriculation
But he saw a pretty barmaid
And he never left the station.

Oh the sight it was heart-rending
Cosher drove his little engine
And he got stuck in the tunnel
And went up the bloomin' funnel.

Cosher Bailey's little engine
Couldn't even sound its hooter
Just to make the steam go higher
He made water on the fire.

Yes, Cosher Bailey he did die
And they put him in a coffin
But, alas, they heard a knocking
Cosher Bailey, only joking.

Well, the Devil wouldn't have him
But he gave him sticks and matches
For to set up on his own
On the top of Barford Hatches.

Cosher Bailey's brother Matthew
Had a job at cleaning statues
But when he wasd cleaning Venus
He slipped and broke his elbow.

Cosher Bailey's Uncle Reg
He did go behind an 'edge,
Uncle Reg is feeling better
But the 'edge is somewhat wetter.

Yes, I knew his brother Rupert
When he played scrum-half for Newport
Ah, but when he took up rugger
He looked such a silly billy.

Cosher Bailey's sister Hanna
Well, she played the grand pianna
She went hammer, hammer, hammer,
Till the neighbours said, "Goddamn her!"

In the choir on Sunday night
We sing better when we're tight
And our version of 'Cym Rhondda'
Makes the angels jive up yonder!

You learn such a lot on this list!


> Message date : Mar 17 2005, 10:05 AM
> From : "Gili Bar-Hillel" 
> To : dwj at
> Copy to : 
> Subject : RE: Help with Howl: Rugby, Welshisms and saucepans
> Oooh, and look what Google's dug up, though I still don't know what the tune
> is (warning, it's quite a smutty little drinking song):
> Oh, I got an Aunty Sissy,
> And she's only got one titty,
> But it's very long and pointed,
> And the nipple's double jointed.
> Chorus
> Did you ever see,
> Did you ever see,
> Did you ever see,
> Such a funny thing before.
> I've got a cousin Daniel,
> And he's got a cocker spaniel,
> If you tickled 'im in the middle,
> He would lift his leg and piddle.
> Oh, I've got a cousin Rupert,
> He plays outside half for Newport,
> They think so much about him,
> That they always play without him.
> Oh, I've got a cousin Anna,
> And she's got a grand piana,
> And she'd 'ammer, 'ammer, 'ammer,
> Till the neighbors say "God damn her."
> Oh, I've got a brother Mike,
> Who rides a motor bike,
> He can get from here to Gower,
> In a quarter of an hour.
> *********
> We should definitely add this one to our DWJ singalong, right after "Nine
> Ferrets in a Bottle"
> -----Original Message-----
> From: owner-dwj at [mailto:owner-dwj at]On Behalf Of
> Juliette Curtis
> Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 3:18 AM
> To: dwj at
> Subject: Re: Help with Howl: Rugby, Welshisms and saucepans
> "They think so much about me that they always play without me" might
> come from a song. I know a song with a similar phrase, but since I
> learned it as a child I don't know whether it is a soccer song or
> whether my wording is exactly right. It has a very soccer flavour,
> though. It's called "Cosher Bailey".
> Ahem.
> Here goes.
> Cosher Bailey drove a train
> And it was a dreadful strain
> For according to its power
> Only went 5 miles an hour.
> (chorus)
> Was you never saw,
> Was you never saw,
> Was you never saw
> Such a funny thing before.
> On the night run down from Gower
> She reached 18 miles an hour
> As she whistled though the station
> Boy she startled half the nation.
> (chorus)
> And his younger brother Keith
> He plays scrum back half for Leith
> And they think so much about him
> That they always play without him.
> (chorus)
> And his younger sister Anna
> She would play the grand piana
> She went 'ammer 'ammer 'ammer
> Blooming 'ammer 'ammer 'ammer.
> (chorus)
> Oh I enjoyed that :-)
> Juliette
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