AW: nine ferrets in a bottle

Belben Philip Philip.Belben at
Thu Sep 23 03:27:39 EDT 2004

>>> I had a bottle of ferrets,
>>> Which was otherwise filled with gin,
>>> I had a bottle of ferrets
>>> And the ferrets wuz livin' in sin.
>>> Every ferret was male*,
>>> Every ferret was tail,
>>> Nine ferrets in a bottle,
>>> And they wuz livin' in sin.
>>> (Alternate version: every ferret fe-male, every ferret be tail, if
>>> you like)
> Does anybody know the tune?

Hmm.  The best fit off the top of my head is "Land of Hope and Glory".  I'll
have to do some more thinking.

> One of the great discoveries of my life was the tune to which the
following may be sung:
> The common cormorant, or shag,
> Lays eggs inside a paper bag.
> The reason you will see, no doubt;
> It is to keep the lightning out.
> But what these unobservant birds
> Have never noticed is that herds
> Of wandering bears may come with buns
> And steal the bags to hold the crumbs.
> The tune is 'Greensleeves'.

What?  There are dozens of tunes to fit that.  Most are four-line tunes,
needing to be sung twice, but if you insist on an eight-line tune, try
Parry's "Jerusalem".  That's been crying out for some decent words for long
enough ;-)

(The structure is what's known to hymn books as DLM, short for Double Long
Metre.  Long metre is four lines each of four iambs, and very common)

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