DWJ Quiz -- Who's Running Your Town

Ven vendersleighc at yahoo.com
Tue May 4 12:10:36 EDT 2004

Here's a little DWJ quiz I've made up for your
amusement. It should be fairly obvious what book
you're in.

1. The area in which you live is

a. A leafy suburb
b. The inner city
c. A loft in a lively city centre
d. Infested with old cars and fridges
e. A building site
f. A place of rural solitude
g. In the commercial district

2. Your house is

a. Mock tudor
b. A squat
c. A converted vicarage
d. Where no one else wants to live
e. Made of glass and steel
f. A working farm
g. A flat above a shop

3. Your cup of tea (if not actually flavoured
with curry or vinegar) is 
a. Served from a proper teapot into tiny little
b. Tea? I swear I put it down right here?
c. In a musical mug
d. In a thick cup which wasn't washed properly
e. From a matter converter
f. Tansy, mint or some other kind of herb
g. Served by your minion

4. Your nearest pub is

a. A wine bar
b. A place you can buy anything
c. Known for hosting local bands
d. Has sawdust on the floor
e. A tarted up student venue
f. Dated from the 1400s
g. Used to be a bank

5. What keeps you awake at night

a. Waiting for the knock on the door
b. Worrying whether the door is unlocked
c. Next door's party next door -- especially when
you have an invite.
d. Funny noises in the pipes
e. UFOs
f. Nothing, it's so peaceful
g. The size of your overdraft 

6. What wakes you up in the morning

a. Your alarm clock at exactly the same time
every day.
b. Sirens and gunshots (actually it's still the
middle of the night).
c. Church bells
d. Diggers and drills
e. Shrieking schoolchildren going by
f. The crack of dawn.
g. Bills landing on the mat.

7. Your neighbour
a. Keeps their hedges trimmed and their lawns
b. Borrows your stuff and never returns it.
c. Likes to play their music loud
d. Has more cars in the front garden than you do 
e. Always has the latest stuff
f. Doesn't live close
g. is an electricity substation

8. Public transport is
a. Not neccessary here
b. Dangerous
c. Free buses to the local supermarkets
d. Underground
e. A computerised light railway
f. Late
g. Profitable

9. The local shops are
a. Within driving distance 
b. Protected by grilles
c. A supermarket that sells everything from
radishes to records
d. Hardware stores
e. Online
f. A market
g. Fast food joints and building societies

10. Local schools are
a. Private
b. Depopulated by truancy
c. Religious
d. Rough 
e. Specialising in IT
f. Traditional grammar founded by Edward VI. 
g. Sponsored by business

11. The local park has
a. More "keep off the grass" signs than swings
b. A bad reputation after dark
c. A band stand and a funfair
d. A scruffy bit of grass between the council
depot and the ringroad 
e. A lot of students
f. A preservation order
g. Spectacular lighting

12. For a good day out the locals
a. Have a competition for the best gardens.
b. Get a five fingered discount at the shopping
c. Go to a music festival.
d. Stay in and get on with some DIY.
e. Fly off to the Moon
f. Visit some ruins
g. Do their accounts

13. The locals like to wear
a. Uniforms
b. Black
c. Bright colours in flowing materials
d. Big boots and boiler suits
e. Something out of Star Wars
f. Starched ruffs
g. White

14. The appropiate school of criticism is
a. Structuralist
b. Someone else's
c. Comparitive mythology
d. Freudian
e. Postmodern
f.  Traditional
g. Cost benefit analysis

Tot up the numbers of as, bs, cs etc. results

Feel free to suggest improvements, tweaks etc.
Apologies for Britocentrism, there is only one
complete  in joke....... 


a. Dillian -- the price of safety is eternal
b. Shine  -- property is theft
c. Torquil -- if music be the food of love.....
d. Erskine not so much civil unrest as flaming
e. Venturus -- back to the future
f. Hathaway -- living in the past
g. Archer  -- Power to the people 


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