Best of 2003 and my own worst

minnow at belfry.org.uk minnow at belfry.org.uk
Fri Jan 2 07:38:34 EST 2004


Jon wrote:

>Pretty fair review, perhaps a little generous, the
>book is truely bad. I am astonished to discover that
>i) it took two people to write something this bad
>and
>ii) it actualy had hardcover and paperback editions. I
>supose lots of librarians bought it in hardcover on
>account of the title. I suspect that it was very
>common in library book sales in 1994. Still I'll be
>keeping my copy as a canditate for Worst Fantasy Book
>Ever.

Does it have gems of bad prose as well as the dire plot
and would-be-funny?  I collect those.  A two-author
book-of-a-film has a dilly on the second page, for
instance:

"The hunter could move no faster than the stone walls
of the cave that surrounded him..."

Or how about the chap who had gained his throne but
now had to fight to keep it, which seems to have left
him beside himself with some emotion or other:

"Side by side he fought, next to merchants and long-
shoremen, nobles and beggars."

If I feel sad, I can always comfort myself with the
trousers that went into the tailor's shop of their
own accord in another book:

"His clothes bespoke a gentleman."

("I want a nice chap of impeccable lineage with a 34"
inside leg, by Thursday...")

or the lady who was a real climber:

"She was raised to the loftier status of Queen-in-
Waiting by her precipitous marriage to King-in-
Waiting X."

Not swift but steeply-sloping.  Maybe the church was
on a hill, or the marriage-bed at a very sharp angle
from the horizontal.

Sometimes I send these to Thog for his amusement,
sometimes I just keep them on my pinboard and marvel
over them in times of stress or sorrow.


Happy New year all.

Minnow


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