Onions (was Re: DWJ birthday card(s))
Dorian E. Gray
israfel at eircom.net
Thu Aug 19 14:02:45 EDT 2004
> The only horses we ever seem to get round here are
> on their way to the local police station with policemen (and policewomen)
> riding them and looking superior and benign as only mounted policemen (and
> policewomen) seem able to do,
Over here, only about half of the mounted gardai (see how useful our
language is? A garda can be male or female, and one never has to mess about
with silly words like "policeperson"!) ever manage to look superior and
benign. The other half invariably look as if they would rather be anywhere
else at all than sitting on top of that horse.
> and police horses are probably trained to be
> impervious to onion-breathing pedestrians, so I can chomp on the raw
> onions without let or hindrance if I want to avoid scurvy.
The horses may be, but I bet the aforementioned other half would panic if a
pedestrian came and breathed onion in their vicinity. :-)
> One thing I *do* know about onions is that pickling them in large
> quantities completely stomps on a head-cold: by the time you have peeled
> and topped-and-tailed about thirty pounds of small onions, there is
> left in your sinuses to have a cold *with*. Drastic but effective.
I prefer to dose a cold with vast quantities of hot whiskey (made with one
part whiskey, one part lemon juice, two parts hot water and half a dozen
cloves). Causes any self-respecting cold germ to run screaming for the
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