Zinka and Deep Secret

minnow at belfry.org.uk minnow at belfry.org.uk
Fri May 2 15:27:57 EDT 2003

Sallyo wrote:

>The article talked about fidelity to a partner in other than
>sexual terms. It suggested that becoming "good mates" with a person of the
>opposite sex (or same sex if you happen to be gay) might be infidelity if
>you share conversations or ideas with the friend instead of with the
>partner, or if you find you have things in common with the friend that you
>don't have with your partner.

'Strewth!  Seventy years of never having anybody you talk to about anything
important except one person you chose in your youth!  If that's how
fidelity is to be defined...  AAAAAAAAAARGH!

Where would either of the partners ever get any new conversational gambits
from, to share over the cocoa and carpet-slippers?

Incidentally, why should it only be infidelity having a deep and meaningful
relationship with a same-sex person if you are gay, if this isn't a
discussion in sexual terms?  I've observed husbands being horribly jealous
because their wives have a dear female friend they were at school with, and
resenting the friendship to a terrible degree, practically refusing to have
the "other woman" mentioned in their hearing...  And of course, plenty of
silly women try to wean their husbands away from the friends their husbands
had before they married: disapproving of them going to the pub together and
stuff like that

It sounds a bit "he for God only, she for God in him" ish.  I thought the
species was growing up a bit and getting away from that sort of attempt to
own another person body, mind and soul.

>ODWJR - Would Zinka be considered faithful to Simon if she had enjoyed long
>verbal conversations with Rupert? Or if she enjoyed a bit more, with Simon's
>knowledge and consent?

Do we know whether either of them regards "being faithful" as a
prerequisite for loving each other and being married?  And do we know
anything about what Simon may get up to in Zinka's absence, and whether
that has her knowledge and consent?


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