O/T Older Cars

Kyla Tornheim kyla at merlin.sccs.swarthmore.edu
Sat Mar 29 13:28:42 EST 2003

On Wed, 26 Mar 2003, deborah wrote:

> On Wed, 26 Mar 2003, Melissa Proffitt wrote:
> |Anyone else name their cars?  (I like Marjorie particularly, Philip.)  We've
> I grew up with Victor the Volvo, who got pretty old; I remember his Car
> Mitzvah, when he was 13, with embarrassment.

Hee. My family has had two Volvos for as long as I can remember; of
course, this being the snowy-and-therefore-salty northeast, they haven't
been the *same* two Volvos. Our dark green and orange Volvos each rusted
out at about seventeen years. The yellow one, which we bought in 1984 and
was the only new car we ever bought, failed inspection (in 2001, so, hey,
another 17-year-old car) because of, you guessed it, rust. And then we had
a blue Volvo which was *going* to fail inspection at the same time as the
yellow one.

We always just called our cars by their colors ("the blue car"), until
both the blue and yellow ones died and the only available used Volvo
station wagons were both green. So they got named. One of them was bought
from a woman named Gloria, so the keys still had the name "Gloria" on the
tag, and my parents decided that the name worked for the car. The other
one is more of a blue-green (Gloria is a darkish green green), so he got
named Neptune (my response, from college, when I heard: "You guys are
over-educated." :^) I think naming the cars has led to them having more
personality. I realized last year that I can picture what each of them
would be like if they were human: Neptune would be a trim man in his
mid-thirties, with black hair and a little black goatee. He's slightly
geeky (Neptune-the-car has a trip computer, which measures things like
average and instantaneous miles per gallon) but quite stylish. Also, he
likes to go fast. Gloria is a bit older, probably in her forties, with
that silvery-blond kind of hair (ObDWJ: rather like Laurel, now that I
think of it, but of course Gloria isn't evil) which is always perfectly
coiffed, and she wears nice but not stuffy suits. (Um, by the way, those
ages are for the personifications of the cars; I think the cars themselves
are quite young, about seven and eight years or so.)

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them
out too long and they go bad.
       --Erma Bombeck

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