On changing names - about as OT as you can get

johanna johanna at nobrandheroine.net
Wed Mar 12 22:46:28 EST 2003

> If someone refers to a spouse, husband or wife, monogamy is a perfectly
> valid assumption--i.e. something you assume to be true until provided
> contrary evidence.  It isn't a given, but then, categorical assumptions
> don't have to be universal to be true.  And you gloss too quickly over
> the legal hassles of trying to enter a formal relationship with a
> married person.  The fact they are currently married will present not
> insignificant problems should you desire marriage with that person later
> on.

No, I wasn't talking about divorce, I was talking, as I said, about
polyamory: http://www.faqs.org/faqs/polyamory/faq/

> Which boils down to my reaction when I hear someone refer to a "partner"
> vs. "spouse" is that I then am less inclined to expect children to enter
> the conversation at some point.  And even *less* inclined to assume that
> any children mentioned are the product of that person and the "partner".

But some couples -cannot get married-. That doesn't mean that they
automatically don't want, or will never raise, children, & I find it
unfair to think of them as more or less inclined than anyone else.

> Can and are inferred.  That's why the terms will continue as long as
> those characteristics remain.  It's causative and will persist no matter
> what you try to use in place of "spouse".

The meaning of words change over time & often do. Never say never, right?


What, after all, is a halo? It’s only one more thing to keep clean.
--Christopher Fry, The Lady's Not For Burning


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