On changing names - about as OT as you can get

johanna johanna at nobrandheroine.net
Wed Mar 12 20:55:33 EST 2003

> I was going to continue, but I realized that this discussion really is
> off topic and is leading in a not-so-happy direction.  One of the things
> I am grateful for is that the people on this list have always been
> comfortable referring to the varied kinds of relationships they are part
> of, without feeling that they will be looked down on for, I don't know,
> shacking up or living in sin or being mindless drones of the
> establishment.  I like the atmosphere of generosity this creates.

I thought this discussion was about people not making assumptions. If
people want to refer to their SOs as x, y, or z, that's fine--but I v.
much dislike when language is used about others without asking them that
assumes how they construct their relationships.

Hm... so would you be offended if I referred to Jacob as your partner?
Individually or if I said something like "Every DWJ list member's
partners"? I'm not being snide, I really am curious, because after I typed
that last paragraph the question occurred to me. I tend to use "partner"
partly out of a sense of social justice but also for convenience--it
encompasses everyone (because I think of it as a bigger, umbrella term for
spouse/SO/life partner etc.). Quicker than saying "Everyone's
spouse/partner/SO/boyfriend/girlfriend," y'know? :)


What, after all, is a halo? It’s only one more thing to keep clean.
--Christopher Fry, The Lady's Not For Burning


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