On changing names - about as OT as you can get

Jacob Proffitt Jacob at Proffitt.com
Wed Mar 12 20:08:17 EST 2003

---Original Message From: Denise DeGraf
> That's why I like to use it, both in referring to other 
> couples and in 
> reference to my own relationship.  :^)  It not only doesn't 
> assume marriage 
> status.

I disagree on this part.  Referring to a "partner" *does* assume marriage
status.  The vast majority of people hearing you refer to your partner will
either assume a business relationship or an unmarried one.  Mainly because
"spouse" and "husband/wife" is much simpler and serve better when accurate.

Personally, though, I try not to refer to "my wife".  I prefer to give
actual identifiers when I refer to people (my wife, my child, my
mother-in-law etc.).  Two reasons: it's possessive and it defines people as
extended from you.  If necessary, I'll add the relationship as well (because
I'm not ashamed of it, heaven knows, and sometimes it's germane to comments
or discussion).  This is hardly a hard and fast rule, but it's something I
try to implement.

Jacob Proffitt

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