On changing names - about as OT as you can get

Melissa Proffitt Melissa at Proffitt.com
Wed Mar 12 17:00:51 EST 2003

On Wed, 12 Mar 2003 09:39:54 -0800, Denise DeGraf wrote:

>I don't think that I am less committed to my other half because 
>-- thanks to my government's interesting idea of supporting the disabled 
>along with my belief in not having anyone personally support me -- I lack a 
>piece of paper and a ceremony that belongs to a religion neither of us 
>believe in.  I've known plenty of married couples that bailed at far fewer 
>problems than we've tackled, and quite a few individuals that have had many 
>times more marriages/divorces than I've had partners!

I'm sorry, did someone say that committed relationships are less serious
than marriages?  This is your own interpretation here.  I got married.
There was an ordained representative of my faith presiding.  Jacob and I
made promises to each other.  This is the definition of being married, and
it distinguishes my relationship from yours in that way.  But for the most
part, it says nothing about how either of us is going to make the
relationship work, and it's certainly not a magic charm to prevent divorce,
infidelity, or abuse.  While there are elements of society that will use
marital status as a stick to beat you with, none of those people are
subscribed to this list.

I was going to continue, but I realized that this discussion really is off
topic and is leading in a not-so-happy direction.  One of the things I am
grateful for is that the people on this list have always been comfortable
referring to the varied kinds of relationships they are part of, without
feeling that they will be looked down on for, I don't know, shacking up or
living in sin or being mindless drones of the establishment.  I like the
atmosphere of generosity this creates.

Melissa Proffitt
(officially marking the "mindless drone" box)

English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, hits them over the head and goes through their pockets for loose vocabulary.

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