On changing names - about as OT as you can get

Denise DeGraf mustang at sonic.net
Wed Mar 12 03:06:46 EST 2003


johanna danced around singing:
>I wish more people would use the convention of speaking of their
>SOs/spouses/whatever as their "partner." It's so wonderfully inclusive &
>doesn't assume marriage status or sexuality (although at this stage,
>people tend to assume the latter if you use it--me being bisexual throws
>them off even more *g*). And then you don't have to worry about getting it
>wrong.

That's why I like to use it, both in referring to other couples and in 
reference to my own relationship.  :^)  It not only doesn't assume marriage 
status, gender, or sexuality, it also doesn't indicate age.  The assumption 
is often that someone with a "___friend" isn't seriously committed (whereas 
we are) is young (which he's not) and therefore should be taken less 
seriously than any married couple regardless of the quality of their 
relationship.  Saying I have a boyfriend tends to make people assume I'm 
with a young guy, so I get too many weird looks when I mention he's 9 years 
older than I am!  Also, if it were common enough to be used in legislation, 
then same-sex or committed-but-unmarried couples would more easily be able 
to get equal treatment under the law (work benefits, power of attorney, 
etc) rather than being discriminated against because of their 
beliefs/sexuality.

When people ask me why I haven't married (either when I was with my ex or 
now with my current partner), I like to tell them that it's because I 
refuse to walk down the aisle until my gay best friend legally can 
too.  It's not entirely accurate, as I do have other reasons as well, but 
it's a nice way to get them off my case while supporting something I 
believe in.  :^)


Denise DeGraf ~*~ http://www.sonic.net/mustang/moggy
"People are strange.  Usually they're much
stranger than you think.  Start from there and
you'll never be unpleasantly surprised."  -- DWJ 

--
To unsubscribe, email dwj-request at suberic.net with the body "unsubscribe".
Visit the archives at http://suberic.net/dwj/list/



More information about the Dwj mailing list