On changing names - about as OT as you can get

Denise DeGraf mustang at sonic.net
Wed Mar 12 03:06:46 EST 2003

johanna danced around singing:
>I wish more people would use the convention of speaking of their
>SOs/spouses/whatever as their "partner." It's so wonderfully inclusive &
>doesn't assume marriage status or sexuality (although at this stage,
>people tend to assume the latter if you use it--me being bisexual throws
>them off even more *g*). And then you don't have to worry about getting it

That's why I like to use it, both in referring to other couples and in 
reference to my own relationship.  :^)  It not only doesn't assume marriage 
status, gender, or sexuality, it also doesn't indicate age.  The assumption 
is often that someone with a "___friend" isn't seriously committed (whereas 
we are) is young (which he's not) and therefore should be taken less 
seriously than any married couple regardless of the quality of their 
relationship.  Saying I have a boyfriend tends to make people assume I'm 
with a young guy, so I get too many weird looks when I mention he's 9 years 
older than I am!  Also, if it were common enough to be used in legislation, 
then same-sex or committed-but-unmarried couples would more easily be able 
to get equal treatment under the law (work benefits, power of attorney, 
etc) rather than being discriminated against because of their 

When people ask me why I haven't married (either when I was with my ex or 
now with my current partner), I like to tell them that it's because I 
refuse to walk down the aisle until my gay best friend legally can 
too.  It's not entirely accurate, as I do have other reasons as well, but 
it's a nice way to get them off my case while supporting something I 
believe in.  :^)

Denise DeGraf ~*~ http://www.sonic.net/mustang/moggy
"People are strange.  Usually they're much
stranger than you think.  Start from there and
you'll never be unpleasantly surprised."  -- DWJ 

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