OT Powers/Potter Pastiche

Ven vendersleighc at yahoo.com
Fri Jan 31 15:05:14 EST 2003

This is something I wrote for the Tim Powers
list, I'm afraid it only really works if you know
both authors, but I hope it will amuse.  

Harry Pauter and the
King of the Desert -- Extract

The airport bar was awash with Bradford City
fans, here to watch their team play Lazio. It was
too hot to wear their claret and amber scarves,
most wore them tied around the knee and trailing
on the floor. 

It was twenty years since Harry had worn those
colours at his school. Nearly as long since he
saved the world from he whose name hardly anyone
remembered anymore. And fifteen since the
Quidditch World Cup, where one nosedive too many
ended his career. He didn't think about those
days anymore. Since Hermione died he found it
hard to think of anything. She had been found in
the desert ten miles from Nevada, her poor body
skewered by ten giant cactus spines. He
particularly didn't like to think about that. 

A group of nuns, with identical pullalong cases
had joined the scrum around the bar. Ron would
never be back with the drinks at this rate. The
only entertainment on offer came from the pool at
the side of Harry's table -- as plastic
crocodiles reared up to sing "She's got a ticket
to ride" their companions, plastic penguins,
danced. Harry chugged down the last of his pint
and sighed, it was a muggle world these days. 

Ten minutes later Ron, balancing four glasses of
Stella on a tray, edged round the last table of
football fans. He didn't notice the hurrying
stewardess until she bumped into him but kept the
tray level and the glasses on it,  until his
backward stagger sent him into the arms of a nun,
and the Stella sloshed over everybody. A
particularly beefy nun, she winked at Harry as
she set Ron back on his feet. He was transfixed,
he didn't think nuns were allowed makeup, but if
they were surely it shouldn't look as if it had
been put on by a man in the dark with a trowel.
Fortunately she had an equally mesmerising effect
on the lager spattered football fans. 

The penguins in the pool began to rock back and
forth, honking asthmatically, competing with the
staccato tannoy announcements. One rocked so hard
it toppled over, tumbled over a crocodile's head,
and slid over the pool's edge onto the tiled
floor. Still honking and rocking it came toward
Harry. There was a package tied to one of its
feet. "What was so wrong with using owls
ferchristsake," said Ron. He was reaching for the
penguin at the moment it exploded -- the largest
shard of plastic shot past him, straight at
Harry. It would have taken his eye out, had his
quidditch honed reflexes not allowed him to catch
the thing. Ron grabbed what was left of the
package, shreds of an airline ticket, flight 207B
something. Another announcement in Italian and
the beefy nun looomed over them. She was close
enough that Ron could see the stubble on her
cheek "That was the last call for flight 207B
Salazar airlines," she said. Ron looked gloomily
at the wretched shreds of tickets "That's us
buggered, it's broomsticks over the Atlantic
again Harry. Hope you've packed one of Mum's
jumpers, it'll be a nippy flight." 

Harry was still looked at the rectangular piece
of plastic he had caught. Some kind of playing
card, it showed a figure pierced by ten swords.
The name George Leon was scrawled across it, in
red. "Shit," said Harry "Are you any good at


We are proud to announce that TIM POWERS is the
latest author to join the team at POTTERVERSE TM.

To read the rest of the first chapter of HARRY

Also, coming soon, Book 16 of Robert Jordan's
acclaimed Potter's Wheel series.


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