Rude drivers (was Re: tad williams (was Re: : fantasy monarchies))

Robyn Starkey rohina at
Sat Feb 8 21:09:24 EST 2003

>I don't see what this has to do with anything.  I'm not saying that oblivium
>makes you not responsible, just that it doesn't have to be an aggressive
>act.  That, to me, is what makes someone's actions rude: to know you're
>doing harm, and not to care.  Something that's almost impossible to
>determine when it comes to drivers on the road.  (This is a different
>concept of "rude" than is expressed in etiquette, but never mind.)

I would have agreed with this definition until I lived with my appalling 
stepsister for 10 months. She is incredibly rude, because she is oblivious. 
We had a series of massive fights about how inconsiderate she was over 
everything. Her response was that she didn't realise that her actions (eg. 
breaking the shower and not telling anyone and not fixing it) would have 
any effect on anyone, and therefore she wasn't being rude. My take on this 
was that her oblivion was a matter of choice - she chooses to think that 
considering other people is somehow a drain on her psyche. So now she lives 
alone, and everyone is much happier. The point is, she always claimed she 
had no idea she was doing harm, but I think she had to work really hard to 
maintain this illusion.


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