Stew (see scurvy)

minnow at belfry.org.uk minnow at belfry.org.uk
Mon Dec 15 09:14:34 EST 2003


Jennifer wrote:

>Minnow wrote:
>> And how heavy is a waffle-iron, in case one has to consider
>> transporting one across the Trackless Waste?
>They're quite heavy, even in aluminium. You could take the view that they
>are both cooking implement and emergency weapon, but I think settling for
>pancakes might be easier, as non-stick frying pans seem to be a regular
>feature.

Except in the Desert, where they get cleaned by being Scoured With Sand,
which would put paid to *that* hi-tech nonsense PDQ!

Thinking of the frying pan as an emergency weapon, what is the correct
response from a woman to her husband getting her a replacement frying-pan
*that she has to go and buy for herself* for a Christmas present?  Would
the group feel that hitting him sharply with the old one (Le Creuset, 10lb
of cast iron) would be justifiable homicide, or would that be contrary to
the Spirit of Christmas?

I once had a surreal conversation with a policeman who came round to check
our Security and see we had the right sort of window-locks and all like
that, in which he first told me that in defence of a child under the age of
five any woman may kill any burglar and get away with it, chances are; then
he sort of *looked* at the recreational axe in the umbrella stand and asked
me if I knew how to use it, and when I said yes he suggested gently that
after I laid a burglar out with it, it would be tactful to lose the axe
somehow and hit the bloke again with the frying-pan so that it would have
blood and hair on it and be an obvious lethal weapon.

He then remarked that even if chummy survived, nobody on a jury was going
to accept "She hit me with a double-bladed battle-axe" as *probable*
evidence, and it would get put down to hallucination caused by his
concussion.

I didn't know whether to think of this as incitement or just murmur "I
think our British police are wonderful".

Minnow (planning retaliatory sock-purchase expedition)


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