Older wife/younger husband
ira at rempt.xs4all.nl
Thu Jul 6 17:17:33 EDT 2000
On Thu, 6 Jul 2000 Philip.Belben at powertech.co.uk wrote:
> > Hmm. As a woman married to a man eleven and a half years my junior, I
> > think I'm entitled to comment :-)
> Gosh! I have often wondered why it is more unusual that way round than with the
> husband older than the wife. Is there a story there (or part of one) you could
> share with the list?
Well, not much of a story, I'm afraid. I was very unlucky with
earlier relationships - the first really wanted a housekeeper, the
second was a rabid atheist, the third (and I thought at the time,
last) only wanted to share the high points and not the drudgery of
daily life. So, at 28, I thought I was fated to stay single, and even
took that as a sign that God wanted me for his own for a while - but
every motivation I had for becoming a nun was negative, there was no
calling, just a sense of being funnelled: all other ways being closed
I even responded to a personal ad in the paper, but though I liked
the man, he wasn't the man for me.
Later, when I'd found out that I wasn't cut out to be a nun (never
actually tried, but my adopted sister who *is* a nun talked me out of
it), I joined a society for people who invent their own worlds (Not
because of that, of course). There was a sub-division of it for
fantasy worlds, and I wrote a letter to the secretary saying I'd like
to join, as I'd just started on the world I'm still developing now,
Valdyas. I also sent him a story I'd written.
I didn't hear anything for nine months or more. Then I got a letter
in a ravishingly beautiful handwriting, from the treasurer, saying
that the secretary had mislaid the letter and my "delightful story"
but they were very sorry and would gladly invite me to join them.
There was a phone number in the letter, and I called him, inviting
him to join me for a drink on the Friday.
To cut a long story short, we've known each other for ten years, and
we've been married for almost seven years now.
That first evening was pure recognition, as if we'd been apart for a
thousand years; soul-mates, if that didn't sound so soppy. I called
my best friend and said "I think I'm in love with him, and he's only
twenty, what do I do?" and she said "Just go for it!" and I did.
There were some hurdles: friends of his who thought he wanted a
mother, his parents who asked about "that old woman" (but they seem
to like me now I've produced three granddaughters :-), my mother
meddling in her own unique way (she actually liked him, which almost
made me not go through with it), but Love Conquers All, it seems.
Varsinen an laynynay, saraz no arlet rastynay.
irina at valdyas.org (myself) http://www.valdyas.org/irina/valdyas
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