Over-participation (rant, sorry)
bkoch at rz.uni-osnabrueck.de
Tue Jan 11 16:32:47 EST 2000
On 10 Jan, McMullin, Elise wrote:
> Irina vented:
> "Afterwards, someone said something like "you always know it so
>> Irina" in an admiring tone with overtones of something else that I
>> can't quite lay the finger on - not envy, more like "don't you think
>> you're better than the rest of us". AARGH? I've been *brought up* on
>> that, and I was just getting over it and *daring* to be bright."
> I know exactly what you mean and I say -- Dare! Think of yourself -
> swashbuckling across the endless sea of Thought, swinging from the
> mizzenmast of intellect, brandishing your rapier wit, boldly asking
> questions no one has dared ask before! Proudly trimming your sail to the
> wind and venturing off toward glorious points unknown. Sounds pretty good,
> doesn't it? Personally I think that god, at least in my ideas, is all for
> everybody thinking for themselves and figuring things out. Maybe that idea
> is a tad self-indulgent and tailored to my preferences but... oh well! imo,
> it's always been other people who have the problem with free, individual
> thought. But that's another topic ;)
That's a wonderful imgae - thank you!
> "And how do I face her next week when term starts again? Do I just
>> keep silent, hiding the fact that I know and understand things? When
>> I ask a question I'm not showing off, I genuinely want to know;
>> should I ask stupid questions?"
> Oftentimes (well, in my experience) a person is made to feel
> inconsiderate for really going for it more enthusiastically than the rest of
> a group. So then the chastened one hangs back and tries to make the others
> feel comfortable - and that person's focus has completely changed, has it
> not? Instead of enjoying themselves and focusing on their endeavor, it's
> all group politics suddenly and whatever was initially to be gained falls by
> the wayside. I've done this about a million times. I so sympathize with
> your position.
I am a very enthusiastic person (as you might have noticed), and I do
"over-participate" - but unless people talk to me about it directly, I
don't care about any funny looks I get - I just like sharing my
enthusiasm, even though it may be more fashionable to be cool. If
someone said something like that, though, I would be very hurt, think
about it for some time, and maybe even try and not "over-participate"
in front of that person again (very maybe), but the next day I'd be
just as enthusiastic again... it's the child in me, I suppose.
I think just be yourself, and some people will enjoy and share in your
enthusiasm (as they thankfully did nearly all the time I did something
like that at church - it was a different thing at school, though!).
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