Over-participation (rant, sorry)

Britta Koch bkoch at rz.uni-osnabrueck.de
Tue Jan 11 16:32:47 EST 2000


On 10 Jan, McMullin, Elise wrote:
> 	Irina vented:
> 
> 	"Afterwards, someone said something like "you always know it so
> well,
>> Irina" in an admiring tone with overtones of something else that I
>> can't quite lay the finger on - not envy, more like "don't you think
>> you're better than the rest of us". AARGH? I've been *brought up* on
>> that, and I was just getting over it and *daring* to be bright."
>> 
> 	I know exactly what you mean and I say -- Dare!  Think of yourself -
> swashbuckling across the endless sea of Thought, swinging from the
> mizzenmast of intellect, brandishing your rapier wit, boldly asking
> questions no one has dared ask before!  Proudly trimming your sail to the
> wind and venturing off toward glorious points unknown.  Sounds pretty good,
> doesn't it?  Personally I think that god, at least in my ideas, is all for
> everybody thinking for themselves and figuring things out.  Maybe that idea
> is a tad self-indulgent and tailored to my preferences but... oh well!  imo,
> it's always been other people who have the problem with free, individual
> thought.  But that's another topic ;)


That's a wonderful imgae - thank you!

> 	"And how do I face her next week when term starts again? Do I just
>> keep silent, hiding the fact that I know and understand things? When
>> I ask a question I'm not showing off, I genuinely want to know;
>> should I ask stupid questions?"
>> 
> 	Oftentimes (well, in my experience) a person is made to feel
> inconsiderate for really going for it more enthusiastically than the rest of
> a group.  So then the chastened one hangs back and tries to make the others
> feel comfortable - and that person's focus has completely changed, has it
> not?  Instead of enjoying themselves and focusing on their endeavor, it's
> all group politics suddenly and whatever was initially to be gained falls by
> the wayside. I've done this about a million times.  I so sympathize with
> your position.

I am a very enthusiastic person (as you might have noticed), and I do
"over-participate" - but unless people talk to me about it directly, I
don't care about any funny looks I get - I just like sharing my
enthusiasm, even though it may be more fashionable to be cool. If
someone said something like that, though, I would be very hurt, think
about it for some time, and maybe even try and not "over-participate"
in front of that person again (very maybe), but the next day I'd be
just as enthusiastic again... it's the child in me, I suppose.

I think just be yourself, and some people will enjoy and share in your
enthusiasm (as they thankfully did nearly all the time I did something
like that at church - it was a different thing at school, though!).

Enthusiastic greetz,

Britta ;)

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