Off Topic on Bad Books (Was RE: dwj-digest (Diana Wynne Jone s) V 1 #70)

Melissa Proffitt Melissa at
Thu Sep 2 14:58:10 EDT 1999

On Thu, 2 Sep 1999 11:24:51 -0400 , McMullin, Elise wrote:

>	I think Melissa wrote this first snippet:
>> > come after us.)  Sequels to things--good heavens, has anyone
>> > ever tried to
>> > read _Pemberley_, the sequel to _Pride and Prejudice_?  I'm
>> > certain there
>> > must have been someone out there who liked it.  But in the
>> > first place, the
>> > author didn't come close to matching Austen's style--and in the second
>> > place, what is left to say about Elizabeth and Darcy?!?
>> > There's a Bad Book
>> > if I ever saw one.
>> >
>And Anita replied:
>	"But who? I don't think I've met anyone who liked it, discussed it
>on the net
>> with anyone who liked it, seen a review by anyone who liked it - its a
>> travesty."
>First of all, I can't believe there are other people who found and read
>this.  What a kick it is to actually have other people talk about books one
>has read.

Does it count if I read the first five pages before giving up in disgust?
:)  My mother-in-law has, to her credit, an abiding passion for Jane
Austen's novels and that's how I found _Pemberley_--on her bookshelves.

>I was scratching my head over Pemberley.  I wondered if the author had had
>some slim inclination toward wondering about Darcy and Eliza and then was
>pushed and prodded into writing a sequel by some unknown others.  And in
>reading it, it was as if a whole team of people dressed in black had stolen
>into Pemberley in the middle of a moonless night, made away with all the
>characters we met in P&P, and replaced them with cyborgs whose neural
>programming was completed without reference to the original individuals but
>was rather whipped up from some cyborg cookbook recipes for Reserved but
>Good Man and Witty Charming Woman.  You know, if they had got into this
>whole cyborg thing, it might have been a really interesting story.

Isn't there an episode of Red Dwarf where the crew goes to "Jane Austen
World"?  It ends with a lot of explosions....

I think writing "the lost novels of Jane Austen" would be fun.  The
completed version of _Sanditon_ is not bad.  I read it without knowing where
Jane Austen left off and the other author began, trying to see if I could
tell when it happened.  The place I chose is about a hundred pages after the
real break.  Still, it becomes pretty obvious that Austen's no longer
writing the book when the ending is this dramatic abduction and chase scene.

>" ended up being grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.  Canned
>soup.  Processed cheese food product (which ironically makes a MUCH better
>sandwich, especially if you use real butter to grill the bread)."
>All so true.  It's downright unnerving about the cheese food product.
>Sometimes I promise to put a lot of effort into a special dinner for my b.f
>- "I thought I'd start with some nice spinach and seaweed salad - no
>dressing, it's bad for you and obscures the taste, move along to some
>eggplant curry with braised tofu and finish off with some delicious soy
>pudding," artful pause.  "Or, we could order a pepperoni pizza." ee hee hee.
>And there is much rejoicing.

Hehe.  Pepperoni pizza.  Lovely food!  You're so wily, Elise!

(My oldest daughter, at the ripe old age of five, has the ability to tell
whether something will be good simply by looking at it.  This makes cooking
for my little family a Continuing Adventure--will Mom go irreparably nuts
after having the meal she slaved over for three hours rejected by her
ungrateful brood?  Stay Tuned!)

Melissa Proffitt,
anti-chef extraordinaire

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