Author: Kakodaimon
Disclaimer: The characters here do not belong to the author. No money is being made out of this story.
Rating: G
Author's Note: Takes place between Objects at Rest and Sleeping in Light.
The swamp smelled like Londo after a bad day and two ex-wives. At once. The memory of the ambassador's particular brand of olympics was enough to activate Vir's asthma (the doctors said he had outgrown it! They promised!), and he threw himself into a coughing fit. "Nnn-no!" he managed, bracing himself on his knees. "I can't do this!"
Ka-whumph. Down came the stick from behind, cracking him in the skull. "Give up, do you? Hmm?" demanded the creature on his back. When Vir's only answer was a lung-wrenching sniff, a series of three more blows. "No wish to save your world have you? No wish to be Emperor?"
"Ow! Well, a-a-actually, no, I really don't want to be Emp-"
"And saving your friends, your loved ones, hmm?"
"Well, yes, but Master, this is demeaning!" He looked down at his sweat- and puddle-soaked tank top. "I, it's just, when this thing gets wet, it's just not decent! And as for the fitness routines, I’ve just never done anything like it before. I don't know how! I mean, Londo and I would sometimes race from the docking bay to his quarters, but only because a hoard of angry, politically disenfranchised-"
"Then learn!"
To his relief, Vir could feel Yoda's expression softening to one of contemplation. The Master's thick, tangled fingers began to tap on his student's shoulders. "Important, this is."
The sudden quiet of his tone depressed Vir; it meant another failure. "I know," he muttered.
Yoda shifted forwards, a smile crumpling his already wrinkly face. "And important you are."
He giggled. The sound was unhealthy even to his own ears, but even sicker was the kind of joke his teacher was making. "Me? Oh, that's funny. Cruel, but, but real funny."
"Doubt, do you?" As Vir was bracing himself for another blow, the little man chuckled. "Good! Hmmph. Good! Not as wise, most of my pupils are!" He jostled in his carrier sack, signalling that he wanted down. Vir let him to the ground without too much of a thump, and sagged in relief.
"Galen said to be trained are you," continued Yoda. The misty quality to his voice evaporated like marsh gas as he whipped around to face the puffing Centauri. "Because not yet ready to face your destiny are you; too slow! Too fat-"
"I'm working on it-"
"And too afraid." He jabbed Vir with his stick, soft but insistant. "Fear is of the Dark Side."
This time he nodded. "The Shadows."
"Fight the servants of Darkness you must, yes?"
Grimace. "I-I-so they tell me. But, y'know, sometimes I think they're just putting me on, just to spite me. I never know the whole story, anyway-"
"And your feelings? What do they say?"
That the technomage was on dust when he sent me here. That they've all been tricked; I'm no one special. I can't even help myself, let alone Centauri Prime. He let out a long, rattling breath. "They say that I’m a fool. An incompetent clown...."
Yoda waited.
"...but better than nothing." He did his best to square his shoulders. "So yes, I suppose I’ll have to fight them."
To his surprise and deflation, the expected "Good, good!" was not forthcoming. Instead, the creature shook his head. "Then ready you are."
"What?" he exploded. "But-no! No, I'm not! I thought you'd tell me to start running again, or, or to start doing pushups or something! I can't go out and rescue anybody! Besides, I thought I had to wait and, and, and-"
Yoda shook his head. "No. There." He pointed his cane at a dark opening in the dangling moss. "Inside."
"What's in there?"
"Only what you take with you."
"Then can I take, uh, can I take Satai Jiggles?"
For the first time, an expression of confusion crossed the alien’s face. "Who?"
"My stuffed gok, from the Minbari embassy?"
Yoda waved a hand. Vir got the distinct impression he was struggling to keep his eyes from rolling. "Your toy. You will not need it."
"Can I take you?"
"Go!"
Trembling, he advanced towards the cave. At its mouth, he turned and cast a worried look back at Yoda, who merely bowed his head. He turned back and entered.
Inside it was dark and cold. Vir shivered against his sticky clothes and ducked beneath a vine, peering into the black. A few more steps forward, and still nothing. Well. He tried a cautious "My name is Vir Cotto, diplomatic-"
At that moment, a figure stepped forward. He shied back from it, but it spread its arms wide and boomed out "Viiiiir!"
"Londo?" His initial spike of recognition died into fright. If it was Londo, why was he so thin? Or his hair so obnoxiously short? The face, the voice were the new Emperor’s, yes, but everything from his swinging walk to his curled lip spoke of someone else. Vir began to back away.
"You recognise me, yes?" the Emperor demanded, nursing an injured look. Then the expression melted, and he leaned forward. "There is no other way!"
Vir knew he had to look down, and he did. Gleaming in the mire was a slender silver cylinder. With a snatch, his fingers plucked it from the goo. He stumbled a retreat. "I can’t fight you. I don’t want to do it."
"Have you learned nothing?" If anything, the shadows deepened, and the Emperor grew larger. "It does not matter what you want! What matters is who I am!" His face hardened to amused chill, and one great hand reached out. "I don’t care for the way you’re looking at me."
Vir panicked, shrinking in paralysed fear. Then a synapse fired, a brainwave snapped, and he was riding the waves of adrenaline forward, poison wand glinting before him.
Cartagia looked down at his chest. The needle yanked out, and Londo looked back up. As Vir's mouth flapped, the Emperor collapsed. Standing behind him was a mirror image of Vir, as exhausted and bedraggled as the terrified Centauri he reflected, down to the last hair in his crumpled crest.
But wearing the white. And with a smile on his face that was somehow hard and right and horrifyingly grown up. As Vir drew his arm back, so did his twin.
He turned and ran.
In the twilight bog, he sat in the muck by Yoda and was silent. After awhile, he said, "Don't explain to me. Just-don't even start. I don't want to know.
"Already do you. No need is there to repeat."
"Londo’s not insane."
Yoda regarded him from beneath lidded eyes.
"Well, yes, okay, I grant you he may be, but not in the same way! I thought I was supposed to help him, not k-k-hurt him!
"And if seperate the two you cannot?"
Vir said nothing. He stood and walked small away.
Yoda watched him go. After a moment, he craned his neck to the man standing beside him. "Ah. Here you are."
"I'm surprised you put up with him," observed Galen, folding his arms into his sleeves. 'You were never this patient with me."
"No practice had I then. But since..."
"Luke," they bit in unison.
"Yes," Galen conceded. "I imagine this little fellow seems downright stoic in comparison. Do you think he'll turn out all right?"
"Hmmph." Yoda prodded the mud. "Not stubborn enough." He paused. "Never that I thought I would say. Not after-"
"Luke," they sighed in unison.
"Yes. Still..." The old master squinted after the Centauri. "Two good hearts he has. He may, I think. He may."